Peter: The Trilogy

3 04 2010

Mark 14:27-30

Friday – One

“I don’t know Him. No, really, I don’t know that man. Again, I swear to you, I don’t know Jesus.”

Peter, that’s what you do when you are cornered, don’t you? It isn’t even that something comes to mind. Fear bypasses that important process. Fear makes you react, not respond.

You felt the words rush up through your throat, out of your mouth and into your ears where they were left, clanging back and forth between them; you felt a dizziness like you might faint, but you didn’t. You just stood there with your denial.

And then all was foul. You found a dark corner and were shattered.

Saturday – Two

Peter, I am thinking about you today and I feel like I know you. I know what’s on your mind today: Saturday.

You cried all night and today you are exhausted, not just from grief but from the way you tortured yourself all night. One line went over and over and over and over in your mind: “I don’t know Him.” It slipped off your tongue so easily but the repetitious remembrance of it, the regret of it spreads like a rash you can find no relief from.

You are wandering. You pick something up and put it down, not knowing what you would do with it. You are looking for something, but you don’t know what and you keep rehearsing what He said, you said, they said until the inside of your head throbs.

You hear words, but don’t know what they mean. You are here, but not. You want to wake up; you agonize. If only you had ended it differently.

This is the end, isn’t it?

Jesus is done.

What you invested in has crashed.

If life was upside down for past last three years, now it is somersaulting and you are reeling with vertigo.

Peter, I know you because I think I could be you. I could react-that-fast without thinking. I could be that chicken. I could be that confused. I could fear the pointing finger more than I fear God. I could try to salvage myself at the expense of sacrificing Christ. I could lie at lightening speed and I could find myself outside of myself wondering what the hell I have just done.

I don’t know how you got through Saturday.

Sunday – Three

You heard the news. You ran to the Tomb (with excitement? Or Dread?). You walked away…wondering.  I can only imagine, Peter. I can only imagine what you were wondering.

The last few days were cruel to Jesus; you were also cruel: is that forgivable? And, if forgivable, would Jesus love you the same? If it is true that Jesus is alive, could you ever, ever, walk down the road together with the same ease? Could Jesus see you as He saw you before?

You know yourself and what you are capable of and not capable of. You DENIED Christ, Peter. In turn, don’t you deserve to be denied?

Is this the unforgivable sin?

Peter, you don’t know it yet, but Jesus isn’t done with you. Your world was turned upside down by Jesus, and now you are about to turn the whole world upside down for Jesus.

One painful lesson. Three Parts. Grace.

— Teresa Klassen




One response

15 04 2010
Tweets that mention Peter, I know you. « OneBrownLeaf --

[…] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Teresa Klassen. Teresa Klassen said: Mk 14:27. Peter, I know you. […]

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