Zig-Zag

21 09 2012

Mike laughs at how I get ready in the morning. I do a little of this here, and then I think of something on the other side of the house that I need to do so I go and do that. Then I am back curling my hair until I think of something I need to write on my list, so I go put it on my list. And then I might make the bed enroute to finish my hair and get distracted by a book I have been meaning to read so I pull the book off the shelf and look at it. Then back to my hair until I think of something funny I meant to send to a friend, so I go do that. In my defense, I am seldom late and I seldom forget to do the things I need to do though, admittedly, my morning routine is less than efficient. I like it; it’s interesting.

I don’t think I am classically Attention Deficit, but I most definitely have a zig-zag way of doing things.

I admire people who think in a linear way and who stay completely focused on the task at hand. I admire objective people and those who can keep their emotions in check. I admire the “like water off a ducks back” types…oh how much less complicated my life would be if I could be like that. But all of us have a little zig-zag in us, I think. None of us can keep our hearts totally on track all the time. We wander, we get anxious, we get confused we get distracted. Our hearts get bruised and hard. We usually don’t even know where we are until it hits us that we are way off from where we should be or could be. Sometimes we just get into a head-space where we are negative or stressed out or unrealistic or just unclear.

That’s where 2 Thessalonians 3:5 comes in. “May the Lord direct your hearts…” it says. Don’t we usually just leave our hearts where they are? We feel what we feel, we think what we think. Do we ask, “Direct my heart” to where it actually should be. Help me to feel what is TRUE and help me think what is CORRECT?

I can tell you, I am feeling something about something this week and I am not sure I am correct. Something is bothering me, but I could very well be in the wrong. I really need the Lord to direct my heart in this.

The verse continues saying that our hearts should be directed “to the love of God” for one thing, and then to the “steadfastness of Christ.” Both of these are so key to how I live day to day. If I am not focusing on the love of God I might think He has abandoned me; I might be a tyrant; I might feel hopeless; I might think it is all up to me; I might be lonely…I mean there are a thousands places my heart can go away from the love of God.

And then the steadfastness of Christ. Stop right now: am I steadfast? Am I walking around in the armor of God? Am I feeling that unconquerable strength He promises me? Is steadfast a word that would even enter the minds of people watching me? Or would it be more like “slightly unbalanced”?

This is why meeting with Jesus every day is so vital. It takes very little to kick my heart off course. The old hymn (all hymns are old actually) says, “I need thee every hour” and isn’t that the truth?

As I walk into my day, I need something very actively to happen.  I need to be conscious of that and listening for that and obedient to that. I need to be aware that there is a lot of deception out there and not only out there, but in here; in me. I will be kinder, clearer, and more “settled” about what I need to do and say if only I will allow myself to be directed along The Way.

— Teresa Klassen

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