What Was I Thinking? I AM The Project.

16 10 2012

Ever suggest plan revisions to Jesus? I do that.

Hebrews 3 today. It’s a construction chapter, saying that all through history people have had roles to play as they live and work with Jesus. Jesus is the builder and we get to run the wheelbarrow around a bit, helping; and then there is this remarkable verse:

“Now, if we can only keep a firm grip on this bold confidence: we’re the house.”

What was I thinking?

I stand in the middle of the construction site of His Mission and, frankly, it’s (1) overwhelming and (2) tedious/slow. Don’t think about it; Jesus has asked me to stack some bricks, so stack bricks I will. I am doing the “whistle-while-you-work” and starting to feel like I am making some progress with the bricks until I turn around and see that right behind me someone is taking them down. Crap; I look at what I thought was beginning to stand upright and there is my enemy, Erosion, wiping his nose on his sleeve, stealing what has taken ten hours to do. Erosion, you make me so flipping mad!

  • erosion in commitment (in a culture of options)
  • erosion in character (blurring the edges)
  • erosion in values (what we’ll stand for)
  • erosion in courage (to say, to do, to be)
  • erosion in commitment (did I say that already?)
  • erosion in vision (like a bucket with a large hole)
  • erosion in sacrifice (Hm. What will it cost me?)

Jesus comes over and sees the Erosion at work and puts His hand on my shoulder in that way and tells me to keep my cool. He flips to Hebrews 3 of the plan and reminds me:

  1. Jesus is the builder, not me. He will deal with the Erosion issue and let me know which banks to shore up which are, incidentally,
  2. Mostly in me; I am the house (“verse 6,” He says).

I sigh one of those frustrated/impatient sighs (one can’t quite capture in writing) pointing at stuff saying, “It’s not supposed to look like that!” And then I get the raised eyebrow look back. It reminds me of the other day:

Mike and I were browsing through carpet samples, laminates, engineered hardwood; decisions to make as some of our flooring is on its last, last leg. An employee, the kind with age and experience, helped us along. We chatted about home renovation projects and he said with a chuckle, “My wife and I can’t work on projects together. She just can’t believe that I can get the job done on my own even though I am the handyman. She has this to say, and that to say, and before you know it we are arguing and she is more of a project then the project. So I send her off with a little money and when she comes back, it’s all done. It’s just better that way.”

On Sunday, Brian talked about leadership and he said something like, “we’re often not that good at this.” I concur. Seriously I don’t know what to do half the time. Should I use the Phillips? Robertson? Frearson? (Google it) but I am expected to, or I expect myself to or I ask myself, what is Jesus expecting? No really; I would like an answer.

I picture Jesus like the man at Home Depot, chatting with St. Peter saying, “Sometimes I just have to send her off so she can remember who the Handyman is. When she comes back she will see what I have done. It’s just better that way.”

So what are You saying Jesus; I am the house? Let me get my head around this. So You are building this house and You are building that house and another one. I see, You are pulling together a neighborhood and neighborhoods built Your way and it looks beautiful to You. And these houses are refuges people can come to: the wounded and broken-hearted, the bullied and the harassed, the sojourner the thirsty the tired the hungry…these are the ones who will find the Kingdom You are building, Your way, in us.

Hand me another brick (Ach. That title has been taken already).

— Teresa Klassen

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